


A New Beginning

by danaste



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Homophobia, Hopeful Ending, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Sorry Danny is kind of a big asshole in the past, future relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-25
Updated: 2015-12-25
Packaged: 2018-05-07 19:19:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5468036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danaste/pseuds/danaste
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Danny made a lot of mistakes in the past. He's trying not to repeat them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A New Beginning

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LilyC](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilyC/gifts).



Danny always knew he’d end up back in Philly after he retired. It’s where Sylvie and the kids were. It’s where the best memories of his life were. He’d worn a lot of colors over the years, but it was always the garish orange of Philly that felt most like home. Philly was also where he’d made some of his worst mistakes. Philly was where Claude was.

Retirement had always been one of those things that was far away, out of reach and unwanted until one day it was staring Danny in the face and mocking him. No Cup. No records. A washed-out, old man with a laundry list of aches and pains. Danny snorted at his wallow in self-pity. Despite it all, Danny wouldn’t have traded a day of it. Sure there were instances of things that he’d have done differently, tried to be a better husband, a better father, a better player.

No, that was wrong. There was one day that Danny would trade. The day he let Claude think that he wasn’t good enough, that Danny’s own issues were a reflection of Claude’s worth, the day that Danny let Claude move out and didn’t try to explain himself.

The failure of his marriage wasn’t just Danny’s fault. But the thing with Claude, Danny knew the blame rested solely on his shoulders. He shouldn’t have gotten involved with someone, let alone a male teammate so soon after his divorce; especially when he was still struggling with his own issues. Once Danny would have blamed it on the alcohol, blamed it on Claude, blamed it on anyone except himself, but Danny had had a lot of time to think about their time together, and knew exactly whose fault it was.

Danny had taken Claude for granted; sex only when Danny wanted, only when it wasn’t a game day, only when the kids weren’t around, only at the house. Until none of that mattered except the first one. It was Danny who made the rules and only Danny who could break them. The whole situation had been far from Danny’s finest moments.

Then came the day that Claude had said enough, he was tired of being Danny’s dirty little secret, his piece on the side. Claude hadn’t asked for his undying devotion or even his love, just Danny’s respect, and Danny had laughed, thrown it back in Claude’s face, said that he wasn’t a _fag_. The look on Claude’s face, Danny wished he could forget it.

It would take a long time and a lot of therapy before Danny could admit how horrible he’d been. He was lucky that Claude hadn’t cut him out of his life completely when he’d moved out. It was no less than Danny had deserved. But around the other guys Claude was still the same, didn’t treat Danny any differently. Claude even to this day still took the boys out to do things. It was only when they were alone that Claude looked at him wearily as though awaiting a blow. Danny had never raised his hand to Claude in violence, but he knew just how deeply words could cut. Even years later, it still made Danny feel sick, knowing that he betrayed Claude’s trust in such a way.

The Flyers were offering him a job. All he had to do was say yes and sign on the dotted line. But Danny had to do one thing first.

Knocking on Claude’s door, Danny’s gut twisted as he waited. Danny knew he should have called first, but there was the chance that Claude would have said no that Danny couldn’t come over; Danny needed to do this face to face, needed to see Claude’s eyes because Claude had gotten really good at lying over the years, but his eyes still gave him away. Danny hated that he was part of the reason that Claude had needed to lie so much.

The door opened, and Claude’s eyes went wide. “Danny! Is everything okay? Are the kids—”

Of course Claude would instantly worry. “The kids are fine. Can I come in?”

Claude’s demeanor suddenly went wary, but he stepped to the side, giving room for Danny to enter.

Danny followed Claude to the kitchen.

“Want anything to drink? Water, juice, a beer?”

“Just water is fine. Thanks.”

Claude grabbed two bottles, setting one in front of Danny before opening his own and chugging half.

Danny grabbed his, but didn’t open it, just picked at the label as the seconds ticked by.

Finally Claude asked, “Why are you here, Danny?”

“The Flyers have offered me a management position.”

“Wow, Danny, that’s great,” Claude said with a wide smile.

“Say the word, and I won’t take it.”

Claude smile fell from his face and his eyes went wide. “What?”

“If you don’t want me here, if my presence will make things difficult for you, say the word, and I’ll turn them down.”

“Danny, why would my opinion even matter? If you want it, take it.”

“Your opinion has always mattered to me; I was just too selfish, too stupid and self-absorbed to admit it.”

Claude drew back from the countertop he had been leaning against, and Danny winced at the way that Claude instinctively put distance between them. If Claude didn’t tell him to fuck off, he’d do better.

“I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life. My biggest one was you Claude.”

Claude made an ugly sound, half laugh, half sob. “Yeah, Danny. I got that a lot time ago. You’re not a fag. I am. If that’s what you wanted to revisit then get the fuck out of my house.”

Danny rounded the island. “No, Claude. My biggest mistake was treating you the way I did, for letting you go.”

Claude shook his head. “Fuck you, Danny. Fuck you!” Claude shouted. “You don’t get to say that after all these years. It doesn’t make everything okay. I loved you, and you treated me like shit. Are you looking for my forgiveness, for absolution? Because you’re not getting it.”

Danny swallowed past the sudden lump in his throat. “Forgiveness would be nice, yeah, but I need to know if you can work with me. I don’t want to make things uncomfortable with you.”

Sighing heavily, Claude hauled himself up on the edge of the counter, feet dangling in a way that made him look years younger. “Danny, I forgave you a long time ago, but I don’t trust you. Take the job if you want, don’t take the job if you want. That’s not on me.”

Hearing that Claude didn’t trust him hurt, but it was no less than Danny expected. “Okay. I can do that. Can I ask, is there any way to salvage what we had? Even if it’s just friendship?”

“Danny,” Claude said, the word holding so much emotion.

“Your terms, Claude. All of it,” Danny all but begged.

“My terms,” Claude repeated, his tone strangely light. “I won’t hide.”

Danny had expected that one and nodded. “Okay.”

“Seriously?”

“You expected me to say no after that?”

“I’m not sure what I expected, but I didn’t expect this,” Claude finally said. “Go accept the job. I’ll text you later.”

Maybe it was supposed to be a dismissal, but all Danny heard was the promise of a future.


End file.
